When a couple gets married, I heard
a preacher say…
there are more than just two people
there, so hay-hay,
there is the man she married, the one
you are and the one you can be…
this works the same for her, you didn’t
marry one… you married all three,
to come and find a chasm between the
man you are and the man she hoped for
is when there will be a lasting sigh,
this heard daily and to your ear a chore,
let the expectation diminish, fill all the
gaps in and be the man she needs
or there will be hell to pay… it will not
matter, anger will never listen to pleads
of misunderstanding, rage just builds
to seek discharge… a darn fine vent,
be the man you can be, not the one
you want, a time found she’ll resent.
A greater love can be found when there is but a small gap between expectation and reality. Worse to find out is there is a large disparity of space, a variance, between reality and expectation. This would be fertile ground for: anger, frustration, acting out and communication left to shouting matches. When there is no room left for growth… limited in scope to where one will not make an effort to improve and exert a changebut would rather remain as a conscript to a biased ignorance by choice. It is better to approach a marriage standing… equals should be stand up (honest) with each other, and to strive to be the best you can for your mate- not self serving.
If one of the two parties, or both, were not to try to be a part of the whole, the marriage itself, and the one left trusting in the other for support, would cave in. This is when what started with eagerness and excitement can and will surely fail, and ‘shame on the one’ that would do nothing to contribute to the success of the union!
P.S. I really started this as a humorous work… but it ended up as you see it. Initially, yes… the thought is funny but this is much more than being clobbered by cake at the wedding. The bearing of truth to differing opinions, hope and anticipation can and will affect the life of a marriage. Passion a couple will share must not be the only thing that drives people to marry, and transparency (honesty) is the rudder to keep the union on course.
Images from here.